How Stephanie Meyer Went to the Dark Side
by Elenor Black
Summary: Enough said.


Disclaimer: you know the drill…

**Attention** I mean no disrespect to any characters mentioned. This is purely fiction and for humor purposes. Any parties insulted we apologize and say that they should suck it up and get over it.

The stupid story on how Stephanie Meyer turns to the dark side unfoldes:

lulu is awesome and u all know it but ur all afraid to admit it and

I'll never tell u how I know, Muah ha ha ha ha

ha ! And u all know Harry potter is

amazing but Stephanie Meyer is holding knives at our throughts wearing a

Jesters outfit and a monkey mask and an elephant trunk complete with

those flying monkeys from the wizard of oz as her minions because they

don't know where the wicked witch of the west disappeared to and were

so confused and bored that they somehow convinced Stephanie to become

evil and to wear that ridiculous (by that I mean awesome) outfit and

force everyone to love her book or else, and now ur all regretting not

Allowing me ( lulu) to take those karate or gymnastic lessons because ur

lives are all in jeopardy and the weight of the world rests in my hands

(not like the general from percy Jackson thank GOD!) and ur all

wondering how the heck u guys are going to get out of this situation

without killing anyone and ur wondering why Stephanie is holding

knives at ur throughts and not some other unfortunate familie's but u

never even thought to think that this was all homer Simpson's fault as

auntie tooie suggested because that was ridiculous and he was a

cartoon character on fox tv and had never made fun of twilight in any

way but they had made fun of the book airhead by meg Cabot and no one

knew that Stephanie and Meg were rivals so Stephanie was jealous that

the Simpson's wouldn't honor her the Same way they honored Meg, so she

sued fox series and when the court favored in fox's way, Stephanie

went to the park and that's where the monkeys found her and had

convinced her, so she picked her phone up to call her husband to see

if this was a good idea and found that there was a google alert on Meg

Cabot and saw that Meg had somehow convinced the simpsons to make her

a clip making fun of twilight and saw that they had made homer Simpson

part of the wolf pack and made him imprint on Bella, and since Edward

had dumped Bella for Marge, and his kids had abandoned him, Bart to a

life of crime, Lisa to the asylum (because of her weird yet hilarious

family,she felt she needed it), and Maggie to become the first baby

president of the united states because America was just sick of old

coots becoming president and screwing everything up further had

allowed her to run despite her being underage, homer molded himself to

be the perfect yet smelly and fat and glutinous man for Bella, and she

was instantly hooked, all of this making Stephanie go insane (but not

as insane as anne Wilkes, who, as we all know, is the queen of

insane), allowing the monkeys to convince her, and coincidentaly, the

Black were just walking by and overhead lulu making fun of Edward

and decided that this weird scarf Wearing family would make good

hostages since they were muslims and they were supposedly terrorists

and made the monkeys attack and yet the one who was making the fun had

gotten away but she didn't care and just took her hostages and flew to

her evil lair, a place so horrible no person ever returns there

willingly unless they were the lucky ones, Culumbia High School for girls

shuddering as she went inside, feeling no warmth at all, but she knew

one day her heart would turn black enough so that she would not need

that

warmth, and now the black's are listening to Stephanie rant on and on

about how miserable her life is and what she had in store for them,

while they were all trying very hard to keep a straight face and not

burst into hystarical laughter, counting their lucky stars that Nicole ( their baby sister)

wasn't there to start whining and crying as she always does whenever

she's bored, while LuLu was strapping herself to Taylor flaunter,

preparing to jump out of the jet to the top of the school where

stephanie was about to tell the black's about the time her son taught

her how to ride a motorcycle, when she heard the thump on the roof and

told her minions to investigate, not realizing Taylor was up there, or

even pausing to consider the safety of her monkeys while LuLu was

pretending to be having trouble with the strap that would release her

from Taylor, she heard the schreeching of monkeys and quickly released

her self and stood behind Taylor, knowing that they wouldn't be able

to resist staring at him, lulu snuck up behind them, and farted the

deadliest And smelliest fart ever released in the history of the

world, even smellier than her dad's farts, making the monkeys die of

suffocation and disintgrate, making Taylor very impressed with her and

making Laila very embarrassed, so they moved on inside and found her

family tied up with, for some reason that was beyond her, Miley Cyrus,

and saw makyla( her big sister) making an attempt of accidentally cutting Miley with

the knife she was using to cut the ropes, and mom was looking like she

was choking back laughter, making lulu giggle in her hands and

Taylor wheeze causing Stephanie to turn around and notice them, making

Taylor realize that the author of the book that made him a famous

actor and teen hearthrob to millions of girls (and guys too, but we

don't want to get into that), has become evil, he felt something burst

inside him, something that was eating at him since the first day he

arrived at the set, the feeling that something was awfully wrong, was

just proved, and he knew form day 1 that she was not mentally sound,

knew that she needed the approval of others in order to continue, and

when she didn't get it, she would do anyhthing to obtain it, and that

is when she is most vulnerable, and Taylor knew that the way to help

her wasn't through violance, it was through talking it out peacfully,

or maybe he was just being stupid again. What do you think ?


End file.
